my ♥ and everything in it

just typing that blog title reminds me of a britney spears song. unlike her, i’m not going to strut my fat stuff on stage to try to somehow redeem myself from the drama surrounding me. ok. i’m not fat. maybe i have DIABETES – someone today told me that girls apparently use that excuse to explain their curves.

so… i haven’t updated in a while. since what, march something. i would go check my previous blogs and see the exact date, but i’m afraid of losing track of what i’m currently typing off the top of my head. then where would i be? looking at a blank wordpress page that needs to be filled. that basically describes a situation i have constantly found myself in lately.

if only i could blog about everything that happened in my life – or others’. lately, high school has been very… high school-y. drama and gossip have sprung out of the ground like weeds, problems seem to rise faster than a freshman late to his/her first day of school, and friends become unfriends while new friends become great friends. oh. i forgot. friends neglected become friends admired. wow. look at how many times i used the word “friends”. that’s ridiculous. just like high school.

DRAMA.
is plain stupid. but oh so addicting. i don’t know why, but lately, people are just really, really, retarded. and this drama i hear about just happens to fall in my lap. and it always happens to involve a certain girl. man. fucking skank. i’m not even going to talk about it because 1. this story has been retold more times than the story of goldilocks and the three bears, 2. the multiple and seemingly neverending problems stemming from this girl are as persistent as the staphylococcus bacteria in my eyes (which are actually being really nice, as they have decided to leave the premises), 3. the problems have been discussed so much that it’s basically analyzing Running In the Family – pointless and meaningless (ugh. i hated that book.), and 4. some people are either victimized or lured into her love spell (yet it is not as enticing or addicting as that wonderful victoria’s secret scent). basically, someone needs to die. ok. maybe not die. but i hope karma gets her eventually. i hope one day she can look herself in the mirror and gag herself. it’d be a truly grody and disgusting sight (her reflection. not the whole puking part.). actually, i hope the mirror cracks, she screams, loses her voice, accidentally slips on the bathroom floor and dies. actually, that’s too quick. she needs to feel heartbreak herself. and no, i’m not being mean. only honest. you have NO idea what she’s done or what she’s been involved in. it’s ridiculous! and no, i won’t bring scissors to prom and accidentally cut a piece of her prom dress off. and no, i won’t accidentally trip and stick my silver solid metal Guess stiletto heel in her heart. i promise. I SAID I PROMISE!

PROBLEMS.
seem to be quite prevalent, dramatic, and the product of overanalyzing. on his part. ok, i guess on my part sometimes too. oh, that drama queen. ok. oh, those drama queens. regardless, everything seems to be quite perfect. perfecto. perfectionner. oh, freetranslation.com, how i love thee so. for french stuff. because i just typed “perfect” in and that’s what i got. why? it’s cryptic. guess why i put french. i’ll just leave you guessing.

FRIENDS -> UNFRIENDS.
does that make sense? oh well, it works. i’ve crossed out the girl aforementioned in the “DRAMA” section as a friend. in addition, i just want to say that cocky people are just unhealthy for me. ___________ = cocky = hated. ______________ = cocky = hated. jessel + cocky people = no dice. (“i understand. not because i’m in math hl, though.” // melvin) and you crazy people. don’t try to fill in names in the underscored stuff. i just held the key down to acquire a reasonable amount. i have officially crossed out three people from the friend list. why? because they’re cocky. especially one of them who just makes me want to beat the crap out of it. about everyday. just the sound of its voice makes me want to gauge my eyes out. seriously. i knew that everyone was bound to meet someone like this at least once in their lives, but i never knew it would be THIS early. and no, there’s never going to be any hope because it won’t change. EVER. there’s also this one friend that’s wavering in the middle, but that’s because it seems to be brainwashed by one of the aforesaid ex-friends. haha. liked how i used “it”? psh. stop guessing, people.

FRIENDS NEGLECTED -> FRIENDS ADMIRED.
after seeing how much one of the “it“s was such a crap friend, i was reminded about what a great friend someone else was. this someone always got my back. this someone was my sergeant in my underground army. my right hand man. today, though, i was not so happy with him. but no biggie. see? we’re SUCH good friends.

NEW FRIENDS.
are awesome. oh, chris and clan, how i love you guys so.

SCHOOL.
lameee to the maxxx. i don’t know how else to say it. it’s just so lame. i’m just so tired of everything. especially spanish. a slug could climb a tree faster than my spanish grade. efffffing pathetic. but do you know what’s even more effffed up? “______________________________________” (it’s two words, bitches. can you stop?) yeah. not only that, but some ex-friend is involved. i don’t care about school period. it’s so boring tooooo. i do nothing at school. i just want to graduate already. can teachers please stop analyzing our lives and let us live them already? kthanks. oh yeah. zot zot

PROM.
so many people don’t want to go. including a certain someone. (“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, RIGHT?!”) yes. i did. anyways. how? i’ll tell you how. 4.18.08. INTENSE problems first. abuse? screaming, cussing, crying. texting. ignoring. calling. ignoring. bone out. pho with cousin. beating people up while wearing a sesame street t-shirt? rock band at shaan’s house. dropped off. apology accepted. everything ok. kaiffany picked me up. thirsty / hungry. to the village! i know they’re stalling.

kai // joseph says there’s free food at his house. we should go.
me // that’s funny. i didn’t see you call joseph and tell him you were hungry.
kai // idk, but i think his dad dropped off food like five minutes ago.
me // that’s funny. i was at his house five minutes ago and his dad’s car was parked out front.
kai // LET’S JUST GO. I’M HUNGRY.

not slick, but great friends. no one home. front door. letter of apology. glittery pink rose. “JE NF” on a piece of paper. blue candle. scavenger hunt time. asked for help from kaiffany. finally got it. my house. red and blue candles in heart formation. glittery purple rose. “you like sitting here. HINT: this place moves”. nascar car toy. ask help from kaiffany. compartments. “2/15/08″. stadium. running and jogging. climbing steps. glittery purple rose. “your favorite place. hint: you go pretty high”. creekside park. cardboard box with bear in tux (complete with shoes and socks and mini roses). press right hand. “will you go to prom with…” (he says he said me on the recording, but it’s cut off / you can’t hear it.) pick up bear. pink and green balloons fly out. date comes out. accepted. prom has yet begun. so. last saturday (4.26) i spent 4 hours in LA (yeah, that’s right. in 100 degree weather) and didn’t find a dress. sunday (4.27) went to westco mall first. nothing. brea mall. nothing. glendale galleria. carraz. no dress that i wanted. looked at their catalog. ordered a dress. style? ok. first color? emerald. back up color? purple. backup dress style? ok. color? purple. all is well. today. afterschool. tux shopping with date, jon tam, richard chan, allan chuang, and jonah kim. call carraz to check color. emerald sold out. now purple. change tux order. purple? purple. FOR SURE. corsage. date kinnnnnd of chose ribbons…. kind of. i’m excited. are you?

P.S. oh god. it is true. every time i blog / update after a long time, they end up being long. HEY. at least it’s not like 5 separate blogs as usual kay. trying to blog more often. lolx. look at those categories. this blog should apply to everything!

J’ai un secret que j’ai attendu dire. je devine que ceci est le meilleur lieu pour dire qu’il puisque c’est en ligne et tout le monde peut découvrir. la façon la plus rapide pour la connaissance pour s’étaler – Internet. je trouve m’aimant vraiment. … LA RANCUNE. merci pour penser que ceci était important. je signifie, il fait le sens. si je mets en italique des choses aux fins de mes blogs, ils sont d’ordinaire importants. mais pas cette fois. merci pour votre dédicace